Life Without Alcohol: What Changed

I mentioned recently that I’ve cut alcohol out of my life completely. Today I want to share what that decision has given me.

I started drinking around the age of twenty. In Russia you can legally buy alcohol at eighteen, and from twenty through thirty I racked up an astonishing number of binges. I never took long breaks in that decade. I knew I had a problem—clearly and fully. I always found a reason to drink (and often didn’t need one at all). And of course any stressful situation was a trigger.

At thirty-one—right after my birthday in November 2024—I began diving into esotericism and, at the same time, reduced my drinking. I might have one or two drinks a week, or none; usually only on weekends, and I stopped getting drunk. That lasted until July 6, 2025, when I dropped all limits and allowed myself to get drunk.

Those brief hours—from the evening of July 6 to the early morning of July 8—threw me back into the past, completely. On the night of the 6th to the 7th I got drunk. I woke up feeling awful, went out to buy beer—the party goes on. In the evening a friend texted, we met up, and he brought more alcohol and cocaine. That was the night from the 7th to the 8th. By morning, around 5 a.m., when I was finally alone, I started thinking and taking inventory. I felt a visceral disgust. I understood that I was simply no longer interested in any of it; I didn’t like it; I didn’t want it anymore. I didn’t want even a single weekly drink—and certainly no drugs.

On July 8, 2025, I decided to give up alcohol completely. As of today—August 22—I am 45 days alcohol-free. And the difference is tremendous. I never imagined that even one drink a week could affect the body so much.

The benefits started to show about two weeks in. My energy surged. I cut out energy drinks entirely—they’re just not necessary anymore. Before, even when I slept enough, I’d feel sleepy and drained right after breakfast. Before work I almost always had an energy drink because otherwise I was nodding off; my body felt weak. I noticed it especially while dancing on the pole—even though I never drank at work. Now all of that is gone: the sleepiness, the fatigue, the heaviness in my body—disappeared. As a result, I’ve been taking better care of myself and my body. I have more desire to do, to move, to create. My thinking is clearer; I notice more details.

The best part is that I came to this on my own. It’s my decision—and, more importantly, my desire. When you force yourself to quit something, you can relapse at any moment. I let go of alcohol easily, without pressure. I simply don’t want it anymore. I want to keep a clear mind and a strong body.

P.S. A small detour from the topic: I’m heading to Burning Man and will be offline all week. I’m not used to scheduling posts in advance, so my next post will be in September as soon as I’m back.

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. ❤️