Between Two Doors: Creating My Own Reality

I’ve been called all sorts of things throughout my life: crazy, out of touch with reality, someone from another planet. People have said that I live in a world of my own. And you know what? Maybe they’re right. I believe in many things that most people dismiss as nonsense: astrology, tarot, parallel worlds, past lives, magic, spirits, and much more. I live in a world where the esoteric is real, where the universe hears you and gives you what you ask for; where angels and extraterrestrial civilizations help us; where entities, demons, curses, and countless other forces exist as well; where everything around us is energy.

I live in a world where you create your own reality through your thoughts—where you are responsible for everything that happens in your life, including the bad things.

I believe that we literally create our own reality—not only through our actions, but also through our thoughts, beliefs, fears, and deeply rooted subconscious patterns. Yes, other people and external circumstances affect us, but even they do not enter our lives by accident: in one way or another, we attract them ourselves. That doesn’t mean someone consciously wishes for pain or misfortune. Most of the time, we create these situations unconsciously, without even realizing which internal patterns are driving them.

A lot of people will probably want to stone me for saying this, but I’m going to say it anyway. If your life is falling apart and one problem after another keeps landing on you, I believe the first place you need to look for the cause is within yourself: in your thoughts, beliefs, fears, and recurring internal patterns. You have to learn to take responsibility for what happens in your life instead of blaming circumstances, other people, or anything else. Of course, there are countless nuances to all of this, and I’m not going to get into them right now. Everything is deeply interconnected—honestly, I’d have to write an entire book about it. Maybe I will, lol.

I’ve written more than once about the power of the human mind and the power of thought, and today I’m writing about it again because, even though I understand these ideas, I still make mistakes too. But I work on myself. I improve, I grow, I learn from those mistakes, and I keep moving forward. In fact, I don’t really see mistakes as mistakes at all. I see them as experiences I needed to go through in order to become the person I am today.

And, of course, thoughts must be followed by action. Otherwise, no manifestation is going to work—you’ll simply remain trapped in the illusion of your own fantasies.

Right now, I’ve entered a period of my life that I don’t even know how to describe. A transition, I suppose. I left the club, and that chapter of my life is over, but the next one hasn’t truly begun yet. I feel as though I’m standing in a passageway between two doors: one has already closed behind me, while I still have to reach the next—even though I can already see that it isn’t locked.

Once again, I’m going through a period of inner transformation and working through the deep-rooted blocks that have been holding back my career and income. Of course, I’m not doing this alone. I’m working with a specialist, using a combination of esoteric practices and psychology. It’s honestly incredible how quickly the subconscious can be rewired when you know how to do it. I haven’t finished the process yet, but I can already see the results. At first, I didn’t understand how one particular change had happened. Then, a few days ago, I finally connected the dots.

Here is one specific example. It’s a little intimate, but very revealing—and for now, it’s the only example I can share because my subconscious is still in the process of transforming.

For years, I kept returning to the same fantasy—or, more accurately, the same memory—that turned me on whenever I was alone. I stopped watching porn a long time ago. It feels artificial to me, probably because I know that world from the inside, lol. I won’t go into the details of the fantasy. I’ll only say that it wasn’t entirely healthy, it involved my ex, and I couldn’t seem to get rid of it.

Then, at some point, completely out of nowhere, I found myself imagining something entirely different: a healthy fantasy that turned me on and didn’t involve my ex at all. I immediately knew that something fundamental had changed. Only later did I connect it to a constellation session in which we had worked through related issues and blocks.

Around the time I began doing constellation work, I once again found myself questioning whether I had chosen the right direction in life. But in the end, I came to the conclusion that I am on the right path, although I did have to consult my natal chart to reassure myself that I had chosen the right professions. I was surprised to realize that, despite having been interested in astrology since school, until yesterday I had never actually looked into which careers were right for me according to my natal chart. As a child, I read generic horoscopes that came nowhere close to reflecting my chart. So, to those who believe astrology is nonsense: perhaps all you have ever read were generic horoscopes.

So, for now, I am in a state of transformation and complete trust in the universe. To be honest, I no longer understand what is happening or where any of this is going to lead me. I don’t know what is waiting for me behind that next door…