The Art of Becoming Unapologetically Yourself

Today, I want to share a few reflections sparked by my recent change of image—specifically, my haircut.

This summer, for the first time in eight years, I finally moved on from my classic bob. I cut my hair shorter… and then even shorter. Every time I went to the salon—and the last time was just a couple of days ago—I asked them to take off more. Now I’m wearing an edgy pixie with elements of an undercut.

Naturally, there were comments. Several people insisted that the bob suited me better. And one acquaintance from Europe even left this thoughtful little masterpiece under an old photo of me with a bob that I reposted in my Instagram stories:

“This haircut is much better. And sexier. You look very jerkable. Short hair is for boys. Don’t try to grow yourself balls. You have such a sweet, perfect pussy.”

First of all, I don’t need anyone jerking off to me; I need respect. I’m not here to be reduced to a body part and nothing more. Comments like this aren’t “compliments”—they’re pure sexism. It’s the kind of language that strips a woman of her individuality and turns her into an object, as if her value exists solely in how sexually consumable she appears to someone.

Second, I’ve already grown myself a pair—bigger than plenty of men out there.

And third: a short haircut is not “for boys.” It’s for anyone who has the character to wear it—for the girls who aren’t afraid to be themselves. Femininity does not begin with the length of your hair.

After a few “you looked better before” comments (do you hear how that sounds? “It was better before.” People say this about everything. It rarely means something was actually better—it just means it was familiar), I decided out of curiosity to run a poll on Instagram. I offered four photos for voting: from my old bob to my current super-short cut.

The results were painfully stereotypical and predictable. The shorter the haircut, the fewer votes it got. The trend was obvious: the more familiar and “safe” the look, the more people choose it. The bolder and shorter it gets, the fewer votes. If I listened to this logic, I’d have to grow out a bob again—because “it used to be better.”

But this isn’t about what people truly find beautiful. This is about perception and psychology.

People who have only known me with a bob automatically register it as the “right” version of me. A new image triggers subtle resistance in the brain simply because it’s new. It’s not an opinion about beauty—it’s a reaction to change.

Very short haircuts express more character, more individuality, and less conventionality. And people, on average, feel more comfortable with what stays inside the predictable boundaries.

When a woman makes a bold change, many feel uneasy—not because it’s “bad,” but because they would never dare to do it themselves. And often their “opinions” are just a way of protecting their own limitations.

As for male projection—“a woman should be…”—that’s a topic of its own. Comments like the one I quoted aren’t about me at all; they’re about stereotypes. When a woman appears strong and self-possessed, it can be frightening to certain men.

My new look is not just a haircut. It’s a new chapter, a shift in energy, a bolder aesthetic, a sense of confidence, identity, and style.

And besides—people always end up loving the things that initially seemed “too much” to them.