When Hope Becomes Self-Deception

I’m about to tell you a story that started exactly six months ago. To be honest, I feel like a complete idiot.

So, six months ago, a man messaged me on Instagram. It started with a basic compliment. Normally, I almost never reply to messages like that, but this time I just said “thank you”… and a conversation began.

He told me he works in LA, “over Sony Entertainment,” and said he’d like to meet. My first thought was: another guy who just talks. But I replied that it would depend on the purpose of the meeting.

He didn’t give any clear purpose. Instead, he started asking questions — whether I do acting, if I’m signed with an agency, sharing things about himself, and so on. Then he said he could help with my modeling and acting career and suggested a call.

I agreed. I was curious. And, honestly, there was that thought in the back of my mind: what if he actually helps? I really wanted to believe it. On the day of the call, I hesitated. For a while, I even forgot about it. But eventually, I called — an hour later than planned, but still.

He spoke beautifully. Very convincingly. But half of the conversation was still… empty. Just stories without substance. I was skeptical — I’ve met many people like that in my life. People who talk well, but do nothing.

Still, he was a grown man, around 50. He didn’t ask for anything inappropriate — just photos for agencies and an acting monologue. But the doubts didn’t go away. I didn’t want to waste my time. So I turned to tarot.

I had just started studying tarot at that time and couldn’t interpret spreads well yet, so I asked my sister, who has been practicing for about four years. And the cards were… amazing. They showed pure intentions. A beautiful, successful collaboration.

I felt relieved. But I still wondered — why would he want to help me? Still, the reading was so promising that I chose to believe in a miracle.

For six months, I ignored the obvious. What helped me finally open my eyes was going deeper into esotericism — and working on myself.

Not long ago, I started doing wax cleansing rituals on myself. For those who don’t know: wax casting is an energetic cleansing method where melted wax is poured into cold water. It’s believed to absorb negative emotions, fear, the evil eye, or other energetic disturbances. It’s an esoteric ritual — sometimes even viewed as a form of therapy — that transfers invisible tension into a physical form: the wax.

According to a diagnostic casting, all my issues were internal. No external negativity. Just my own fears, psychological blocks, patterns. So I started working on that.

And after my first series of wax rituals… the very next day, the truth was handed to me on a silver platter.

This man had been stringing me along for six months. And not just me — I wasn’t the only one. It became clear to me that he was never actually planning to help — and, more importantly, that he wasn’t in a position to. He simply didn’t have the resources he seemed to suggest. From what I could see, his “projects” didn’t appear to be real.

As for my fears and blocks — I had wanted to do another tarot reading on him for a long time. But I didn’t. I wanted to believe. I wanted the miracle to be real. Until the day I found out the truth, I didn’t even try to analyze his words. I didn’t want to see reality. I didn’t even realize six months had passed.

After I found out, I did another tarot reading — just to confirm. And yes — the cards were terrible. It pointed to dishonesty. There were no pure intentions.

And here’s the question: why was the first reading so positive? This actually happens much more often than people think — and it doesn’t mean tarot “doesn’t work” or that someone made a mistake.

The key understanding is this: Tarot is not an automatic X-ray.

It’s a tool that shows:

• what you asked

• how you asked

• and the energy at the moment of the reading

My sister may have simply read the surface layer. If the reading wasn’t explored through deeper questioning, the cards can reflect charisma, projection, hope — rather than hidden behavior patterns.

That first reading didn’t show the truth. It showed the mask. Some people are very good at appearing sincere. They project confidence. Sometimes they even believe their own story. In those cases, tarot can show not who a person truly is — but how they present themselves.

So the first reading reflected: his image, his energy, his “character” — not his essence. Manipulative people often create a “clean picture.” They don’t always feel like liars. They’re playing a role. They crave attention, not results.

In tarot, this doesn’t always show up as direct deception. It can look like interest, engagement, promises — but without depth.

Hidden deception is harder to detect when:

• it’s not openly expressed

• it unfolds over time

• it’s psychological rather than direct fraud

In those cases, the cards may give soft or ambiguous signals — easily interpreted as positive.

So this wasn’t a contradiction between readings. It was a shift: from surface (mask, potential, expectation) to depth (behavior, facts, reality). The first reading showed how he presented himself. The second showed who he actually was.

After I learned the truth, I started analyzing everything. All his promises he conveniently forgot. And I didn’t remind him. I just kept telling myself: things take time. Without noticing how much time had already passed. Our calls — about an hour each — were mostly empty. Stories. Questions. Very little substance.

Whenever it came to something real, it was always vague:

“I talked to this person,”

“I mentioned you,”

“I’m working on helping you leave the club…”

But never any details. No specifics. No real actions.

He asked me to send photos from my trips, to share stories. I didn’t think much of it — just friendly conversation. He also asked me to record more acting monologues and practice. Which is completely normal. Logical, even.

And one more thing: at the beginning, he said he was in LA — or at least here often. But in reality, he lives in North Carolina… and in six months, he didn’t come here even once.

But I chose to believe — and didn’t see anything. But once my eyes opened, I couldn’t pretend anymore.

The day after I found out the truth, we had a call. I decided not to say anything yet — just observe. But he felt my shift. I told him it was because of work (I hate working at the club), and he believed it.

The next day, he texted. And I couldn’t pretend anymore. I decided to end this long illusion. Here’s part of our conversation, so you can draw your own conclusions.

He: “Diana,  talking with a film producer tomorrow that asked me for a call. Im going to mention you to her during my call and let her know that were working together and your available for casting calls.”

I: “It sounds great, but John, I looked back at our first conversation today and realized it’s been 6 months… and nothing’s happened. I really wanna believe you'll help, but I just can't anymore. I can't keep living in this illusion. It’s time for me to stop waiting and take control of my life. I can't believe I made the same mistake again.”

He: Diana, when we started talking I told you it would take a little time and this wasn't fast. But if you feel that ill leave you alone. I don’t understand why you feel you made a mistake?

I: It’s not about feelings, it’s about the reality of the situation. In six months, nothing has actually happened. You mentioned there would be castings in January, then February, and when I followed up, there was still no clear information — just that you were “trying to find out.” And that’s just one example. For me, results matter more than promises, and after this amount of time without any real progress, I think it’s fair to draw a conclusion. That’s why I see it the way I do. Were you actually planning to help, or was it more about staying in touch and talking?

He: Diana, whether I work with you or not has no effect on me. Im still move forward with or without on my groups projects and films. Im sorry that you feel I wasted your time. The issue is this is not fast and this takes time, your talent and smart. I told you in the beginning you have to be patient for the right film project. I have dozen of people to talk with, but you were the one that I saw having enough talent to do well. I know your frustrated and not happy with how fast things are going, but im sure it want be faster moving forward with someone else. I wish you the best and I know you'll do amazing things. If you ever need anything in the future please leave me know.

I: I understand things take time, but they still need to move — and that’s what’s been missing. The lack of anything concrete in your message already tells me everything I need to know. I’m choosing to move forward. Wishing you the best.

He: No problem Diana. Take care

Now let’s break it down.

This is the type of person I would now describe as: a “talker without resources” + an emotional validation seeker. Someone who speaks confidently, creates the illusion of opportunity, but has neither the resources nor the real intention to act — and simply enjoys the process of communication.

Trigger moment: “I’m talking to a producer tomorrow… I’ll mention you.”

This is called a re-engagement hook. He felt the connection weakening — and threw in an “opportunity.”

Notice:

• no name

• no details

• nothing verifiable

It sounds like a chance — but it’s empty.

I shifted the conversation from promises to facts (six months). That breaks the entire dynamic. His defense: “This takes time.” Classic.

A vague justification with:

• no deadlines

• no accountability

Notice — he doesn’t say what he did. He says: wait more.

Then manipulation: “I don’t understand why you feel this is a mistake.”

This is emotional invalidation. He tries to move it back into “feelings,” because facts are not debatable — but feelings are.

I respond with specifics (January, February, no results). Now it can’t be talked away.

Then his long message:

“whether I work with you or not has no effect on me”→ ego defense

“I’m sorry that you feel I wasted your time”→ not an apology, just reframing it as my perception

“This takes time”→ same excuse, no new information

“You were the one… talented”→ compliment to soften the exit

“It won’t be faster with someone else”→ planting doubt, maintaining control

“If you ever need anything…”→ leaving the door open in case I return

My final position: No arguing. No proving. Just acknowledging the lack of substance.

His ending: “No problem. Take care.”

And that’s how it felt to me. Zero attachment. Zero responsibility. Zero real interest.

Final psychology: He’s not a classic scammer. He comes across as someone without real capability — someone who needs to feel important.

What he got:

• attention

• the feeling of being “helpful”

• connection with a beautiful, ambitious woman

What he never intended:

• real action

• real results

Some people don’t lie to deceive you.They lie because they like the version of themselves they become in your eyes.

And my conclusion:

STOP WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO HELP YOU. DO IT YOURSELF.

The universe keeps showing me this lesson again and again — and somehow I keep ignoring it.

My whole life follows the same pattern:

When I rely on someone else — everything falls apart.When I take full control, rely only on myself, and do everything on my own — everything works.