Yes, I’m Bisexual. No, That’s Not the Interesting Part

Someone recently asked me why I openly say that I’m bisexual, yet rarely talk about relationships with women. So I figured I should explain. Not that there’s a huge dramatic story behind it, but still.

First of all, it’s simply less interesting to talk about, because women and women are actually equal. What is there to argue about? A 50/50 relationship? Sure, I agree. Which is exactly why, if a man wants the same dynamic, he should probably find someone truly equal to him — meaning another man.

Back in Russia, I had a very complicated and emotionally confusing relationship with a girl. Nothing really came out of it, partly because of how negatively the LGBTQ community is viewed there. And now things have become far worse than they used to be. Honestly, the changes happening in Russia are terrifying to watch. Seeing what the country is turning into is painful. I’m genuinely grateful I managed to leave.

But this article isn’t really about politics, so let’s get back to the point.

Besides that girl, I also had a couple of brief flings with women. One of them was actually my friend — she even had a boyfriend. One night we were sitting together, drinking, and somehow things just naturally escalated into sex. Another was a girl I picked up at a bar while I was there with a friend. That one was simply a one-night stand.

My romantic history with women has never been as dramatic as my experiences with men. Maybe because men and women are fundamentally different — different energies, different psychology, more contradictions. Which, in a way, makes the story more intense and more interesting to tell.

After moving to the United States, I also tried to start something with a woman. There was definitely mutual attraction between us — I know that for a fact. Even other people noticed it; apparently it was obvious from the outside. It took me a long time to make a move, but eventually I did. Unfortunately, she turned me down and gave me a very polite, almost cliché excuse, probably because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I wasn’t devastated or anything. I simply moved on and kept living my life.

And honestly, no matter how you look at it, women are harder to figure out. You never really know whether a girl likes women, men, or both. Men, somehow, are usually easier to read.

And if you ask me who I would want to build a serious relationship with, my answer would honestly be: I don’t know. When I meet the right person, I’ll tell you. Because their gender is not what matters to me.