Looking Back: A Summary of My Transformation

Today, I would like to conclude my story and wrap up the first part of my blog. I want to share with you what I have achieved since Alex kicked me out. Today, you will understand why I am so grateful to him. And I hope this story will help people realize that anything is possible in this life. It's possible to rise from rock bottom, start over from scratch, and achieve so much.

So, after spending a month in a hostel, I rented a small, inexpensive studio apartment and moved in. All I had were two suitcases of belongings. Of course, the apartment was completely empty, and I spent the first week sleeping on the floor because I decided not to rush into ordering a mattress—who knows, things might go wrong. Eventually, only after I had moved in did I order it, but I was so tired and drained after a month in the hostel that when I saw "1-2 days" written, I assumed it was the delivery time. It wasn’t until a day or two later that I remembered, and then realized it actually said “shipping 1-2 days.” So, for a week, I slept on the floor, using a yoga mat to soften the surface, and added my sheepskin coat for a bit of extra comfort, though it didn’t help much. I used a folded blanket as a pillow, covered myself with my coat, and wore two tracksuits because it was cold at night. When the mattress finally arrived, it was pure bliss. Only someone who has slept on the floor can understand the sheer joy I felt in that moment.

For some time, apart from the mattress, I had nothing. My belongings just lay on the floor. In about three months, I furnished the apartment with furniture and appliances—nothing cheap, I must add. My principle is: if you're going to buy something, buy only the best, and always brand new. I also love luxury branded items.

In the summer of 2024, I found a lawyer to handle my asylum case, which was incredibly important because my first hearing was scheduled for November 2024.

Once I had everything set up in my apartment and the lawyer situation sorted, I began thinking about buying a car. In LA, it’s incredibly hard to get by without a car. Until you’ve lived here, you don’t realize how long the distances are that you need to travel, and how challenging it is due to the underdeveloped public transportation system. It takes a lot of time, and you usually have to make multiple transfers. My commute to work took at least an hour, while by car, it would have only been 15-20 minutes.

Of course, I wanted a new car. I’m a skilled driver with nearly 13 years of experience, and for 10 of those years, I drove a manual car almost every day. I doubt many people in the US can drive a manual these days. However, there's one big “but”—I don’t know much about the inner workings of a car. I know basic things, but if something were to break down, it would be a problem for me. Moreover, how could I assess the condition of a used car when I don’t know enough about cars? So, I firmly decided to buy a new one.

My dream car was a Dodge Challenger. Alex didn’t support this idea, calling it a "tin can." I really wanted it, but I didn’t have enough money yet. The cheapest new black Challenger (a 2023 model) I found in LA was $34,000. Black is my favorite color, so I didn’t even consider other colors. At first, I thought it might be better to get something cheaper, but new cars of other models were only a couple of thousand dollars cheaper, so it didn’t make sense to go for something else.

In the end, I decided to try my luck and apply for a loan. I filled out the application online, and they pre-approved me, but with an initial deposit of $12,000. At that time, I had about $6,000 saved, plus a little extra on my bank cards. I needed to be patient and earn a bit more.

But the universe seemed to be helping me fulfill my wish. I started receiving messages from the dealership, inviting me for a test drive. I got about three messages from different people at the same dealership, and I figured there was no harm in going for a ride.

A couple of days later, I went to the dealership, took the car for a spin, and of course, I loved it. Naturally, the conversation turned to purchasing it. I explained that I was pre-approved but still didn’t have enough for the down payment. They asked how much I had, and after considering all my accounts, I told them I had $8,000.

They filled out the application again and sent it to the banks. One of them approved it—the same one that had pre-approved me earlier. The dealership was able to reduce the down payment. And unexpectedly, on that same day, September 9, 2024, I bought the car.

It was incredible. Because, in reality, my credit history was almost nonexistent. I had three credit cards, but they had been open for less than a year, and I had moved to the US less than a year ago. The loan wasn’t great—almost 20% annual interest—but I didn’t mind; I wasn’t planning to keep it for long. And by the way, I paid off the loan in four months. On January 15, 2025, I made my last payment.

Then, on November 1st, it was my birthday, and I wanted to go somewhere far away, where no one could ruin the day for me. And I had earned enough to be able to afford a trip. I flew to Hawaii, to Honolulu. It was the best birthday I’ve had in years. Halloween and my birthday in Hawaii—it was just perfect.

So, let’s sum it up: In less than a year, specifically, in 9 months since Alex kicked me out, I rented an apartment, furnished it, bought all the appliances and gadgets I wanted, bought a new car, and took a vacation to Hawaii. And I did all of this on my own, without anyone's help—I earned everything myself. And I am so proud of that.

With Alex, I had nothing—not even a job that could support my needs. And I’m so glad that, during our relationship, I never considered working in a strip club. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like if I had gone down that path. I would probably still be living with him, and the thought of that scares me.

So, the moment Alex kicked me out turned out to be the best thing that ever happened in our relationship.